The 10 Types of People You See on Every Plane

You groan as soon as you notice the "Can I Talk to the Manager?"-haircut peeking over the back of the seat or when a man actually snaps his fingers to summon a flight attendant. The "Entitled Boomer" is upper-middle-class, or at least aspires to be, and is convinced the world owes him everything. You'll spot him by his perpetual frown, short-temperedness that makes you feel for the flight attendants, or possibly his drinking problem.

Babies are cute the vast majority of the time, but they are also mini-factories built and optimized to produce noises, smells, and germs. What could be better than being sealed into an aluminum tube with one while hurtling through the air at 550 miles per hour? Don't you feel special?

Nobody likes to feel crowded, smushed, chafed, or otherwise infringed upon. But if you didn't want to be treated like a kenneled animal, you should've taken a train. Spreading your legs as wide as possible isn't going to help things; it's just going to bring out the worst in the person next to you.

The Twilight Zone episode "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” is one of the series' most quoted and most parodied. But even without a gremlin on the wing, everyone's had to deal with that twitchy, anxious flyer who asks inane questions while letting his unease radiate through the plane via body language. For anyone else who is nervous, having someone around who wears it on his sleeve doesn't help.

There are people in all walks of life who neglect hygiene, and they're never fun to encounter. You'd hope everyone would have the courtesy to throw on some deodorant before climbing into a sardine can full of people. Nothing's worse than having to sit inches away from someone who's aroma is crossing the line from "stench" to "stank" and knowing that you won't be able to escape it for six hours.

(image via conorcos5)

Just like you don't want to sit next to someone who lacks personal hygiene, you also don't want  to sit next to someone who chooses to engage in grooming activities while on the plane. From tooth-brushing to nail clipping, there's nothing like having bits of another's body flung at you while you're strapped into a chair with no escape.

Just about everyone has, at some point or another, looked over at a couple sharing a blanket and wondered just how much of the air circulating through the plane has passed under it. There's a time and a place to get amorous. This isn't that time.

Lots of people like to talk to their seat mate on a plane, and when two of those people meet, incredible things can happen. But part of being a good neighbor is knowing how to read a situation. There's nothing worse than being badgered to oblivion by a real-life John Candy character while you're trying to sleep.

Maybe it's just allergies, but maybe it's not. Maybe it's some debilitating bronchial tract infection, and now you, and everyone in your line of sight, has contracted it, too. There's always that one person whose sniffling, hacking, and nose-blowing make them seem even more toxic than the baby on board.

Airline seats are set up with an absolute minimum of space, and now they're seriously considering stacking people. It's no wonder people want to lean back a little. But once a person does, it creates a chain reaction of passengers reclining in order to get some breathing room. Then there's the one girl who plops back as far as she can, ruining things for everyone—especially the poor sap at the back of the plane with nowhere to recline.